Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Love is Patient

Today I started reading The Love Dare, from the movie Fire Proof. My friend and former manager, Julie, brought up going through the book together over the summer and I was thrilled to begin! I received the book from a dear friend and mentor before the wedding(Thanks Jess Seed!),  but hadn't given it much thought over the past few years. So when Julie asked if I wanted to go through the book with her, I was very excited. She also suggested that we adapt the lessons in the book to work and office situations to apply it in different ways. I thought this was another wonderful idea and as I am sitting here reflecting on the book, I thought I would share my journey through the book and the changes that I experience while focusing on the lessons.
Today's lesson is 'Love is Patient' and the focus is clearly patience.  The book had several good quotes that I wanted to share:
- "When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation."
- "Patience brings internal calm during an external storm."
- "It doesn't rush to judgement but listens to what the other person is saying."
I appreciate all these quotes because I am so often impatient. I have to concentrate very hard on being patient, not rushing to conclusions, not lashing out with my words, and trying to see where the other person is coming from.  In marriage, it seems especially easy to be impatient in marriage. You assume that  your spouse knows everything that's going on in your mind and that they MUST know you had an awful day at work, an even worse drive home, and that you're just hungry and tired and want a big hug when you walk in the door. So when those things don't happen the minute you step into your home, you become frustrated and angry instead of realizing that hubby dearest isn't a mind reader. Somehow when you live with someone it becomes easier to be upset about small issues and dismiss the wonderful sacrifices that the other makes. So, instead of having these emotions flood through me every time B doesn't live up to my (very) high expectations, I should be patient, realize that he doesn't read minds and that he had his own very long day to live through, and offer him a hug instead.  Further, that when I am hurt, angry, upset, or in need of something more/different than what I current have, I need to communicate this to B in a positive and constructive way.
The challenge for today was to saying nothing negative to your spouse at all, and if you were tempted to say something negative, the challenge was to say nothing at all. Thankfully, both B and I worked today so there wasn't much chance to mess this challenge up with him - but when I think about applying this to the office setting there was much more opprotunity to botch this "no negative" pact.
This morning I shared a few quotes and the challenge with my fellow managers and our challenge for the day was to say nothing negative to anyone else - this proved to be extremely difficult as it seems that you can always find something to complain about at work.  I also know that I can be impatient with others at work - I expect people to do things the way that I would do them and I also can be impatient when other's are asking questions or trying to explain a situation to me. So, I am doing my best to be patient with all my coworkers while answering questions, discussing files, etc. A lofty challenge indeed. But, a good way to start is to say nothing negative and I would venture to say that my tone needs to be positive at all times as well.
The Bible verse that I found espeically helpful is from Proverbs 14:29: "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick tempered exalts folly."
So, my prayer today is that the Lord would help me to be slow to anger and improve my patience and understanding of others to better demonstrate love to everyone I encounter on a daily basis. Lord, let it be so!
only 39 more days to go! More updates to come!
Cheers Love!
(Also, this is the first blog post EVER that I haven't had any misspelled words - wow!)

Monday, September 5, 2011

'He will stay and do his work faithfully...'

     "'When will he come home, Marmee?" asked Beth, with a little quiver in her voice.
      'Not for many months, dear, unless he is sick.  He will stay and do his work faithfully as long as he can, and we won't ask for him back a minute sooner than he can be spared. Now come and hear the letter.'"
                         - Marmee, Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

I recently reread Little Women by Lousia May Alcott. Every time I read it I fall more in love with Louisa's writing and the story she wove with four little women growing up during the Civil War era, and of course their loving guide, their Marmee. After finishing the book this time around I thought of doing a series on the blog with thoughts from the book.  There could probably be quotes from every page as far as I'm concerned, but I have chose several favorites that I wanted to reflect on further and share with others. So this is the first of the series, hopefully with several more to come.
In the opening of the book, Marmee comes home with a letter from Mr. March. He is camped with the army (though the exact location is not given) and is writing home to his girls. The girls gather around their mother to hear their father's words, however before Marmee begins, Beth asks the question, "When will he come home?"  I love Marmee's response, "He will stay and do his work faithfully as long as he can, and we won't ask for him back a minute sooner than he can be spared." There are two pieces of this quote that I find particularly valuable. First, Marmee's confidence in her husband that he will stay until his work is complete, that he will not leave and come home to comfort until he knows his part is finished. The second is that Marmee asserts their duty to allow their father to finish his work without selfishly asking his return before his work is complete.  When I was thinking about Marmee's response I began to think about my 'work' and if I do it faithfully. Obviously, there are many definitions of work: my career, being a wife, walking with the Lord, being a friend, a sister, a daughter, and of course those pesky chores; but what work am I to complete faithfully? How do I know when my work is complete? For me, my 'work' is my life, it is all encompassing, it is all the pieces of my life and how they fit together. The Lord put us on this Earth to work, Genesis 2:15, "The LORD God took man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it," further, the Lord tell us to work as if for Him at all times, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man," Colossians 3:23. So if my 'work' is my life and I must do it faithfully, then I believe that I need to live my life out for the Lord at all times. I don't always know what this looks like, nor do I know how to actually achieve it, but I know that this is how I am supposed to live my life, completing my work faithfully. The word, 'complete' throws another curve ball. Clearly nothing is complete until it is finished, and since living my life is finished until I die, I know that my work will not be completed until the good Lord calls me home. This thought can be overwhelming for me, I feel like I can't possibly be faithful for the rest of my life. Thankfully, the Lord is graceful and will grant me mercy for the many times I have not been faithful and the many more times I will not be faithful. So while Mr. March's 'work' was battling in the Civil War to save the Republic, and his duty was to serve his country faithfully, my 'work' is my life and I will be working faithfully for as long as I am here.
The second piece of the quote shows Marmee's love, devotion, selflessness, and courage. She tells her girls, "...we won't ask for him back a minute sooner than he can be spared." I think about this with my own selfishness and how I want people to stay near me, how I want to live near loved ones, how I want every one's life to work out so that we can be together and so that I can worry as little as possible about those I love.  But the Lord doesn't tell us that our lives will be easy or that we will always get to be near to those we love.  I think it can be very easy to ask people to leave their work and ask them to come home to safety and comfort instead of carrying out their task as the Lord has commanded. I am thankful that the furthest I've had to move from my family is four hours, but it may not always be that easy. Who knows what God has in store for B and I. I hope that I have the courage to move forward when the Lord calls, and I hope that I have the courage to trust in the Lord when others that I love get called to far away places. I hope that instead of asking them to stay near me for my own selfish reasons, I have the courage to let them go and trust that the Lord will provide for them.
Marmee, Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy stayed home and waited for their father faithfully until he return after being wounded while fighting. They moved forward with their lives and worked hard on their character while waiting for their father's return.  So, I will work faithfully until my Father calls me home, or Christ's return and I will trust in the Lord when he calls other's to their duty.
These are my first reflections on the book, more to come at a later date. Nothing really new to report from A2 right now, but football season is under way and it will be interesting to be in enemy territory for the fall...perhaps some stories will be coming about life in wolverine territory in the next few weeks.
But, that's all for now.  Cheers loved ones!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Another One Bites the Dust

*sigh* Unfortunately I have to post about losing out on another house. As many of you know, we put an offer in on a short sale home several weeks ago in late May/early June.  It was the cutest house! Older, nice character, hardwood floors, an awesome master bedroom on the second floor, a basement that Bryan could turn into his man cave....the works! But alas, the bank said that they would NOT work with the seller for closing costs and the costs of making the sale happen so we have to sign a mutual release and move on. Bryan and I got this news while we were on vacation up North at my grandparent's house. We were both very disappointed about losing this house, I think a little because we really liked the house, but mostly because we just wanted to keep moving forward and actually buy something. Thankfully the Lord provides in all situations and we have our little apartment that we have leased for 11 months if we so choose and therefore do not need to worry about where we are going to live anytime in the near future.  It's funny how at the time we were getting the apartment we were feeling upset because we couldn't sign a month-to-month or a short term lease and now we are so thankful that we have a long lease and can take as much time as we want to look for homes and find the perfect house. So the hunt begins again, we know that there is a house out there somewhere that we can both afford and that we will enjoy living in, and although we're disappointed we're not moving forward with the house on Maplewood, we know that the Lord has a plan for us and we feel confident that the plan includes a house for us at some point in time.
In other news, Bryan and I are learning more about Ann Arbor and are continuing to settle in. Like I said earlier, we moved into a small apartment as our temporary housing ran out and we thought we were waiting for a house. So we found a one bedroom, one bathroom that is very affordable and is close to my work, which I really appreciate, and we are making this home for now. Since we thought we would only be here for a few months, we didn't really try too hard to find a nice or a perfect apartment, we just took one that we could afford and survive in for a bit. Now I am slightly bummed that we didn't look for a place we could stay in long term if needed, but not terribly upset. I don't mind being in a small space - it's perfect for the two of us - and I do appreciate that we can live comfortably and save some money at the same time.  We've been able to try out a few more restaurants and we've visited a few galleries and shops downtown A2, so we're settling in just fine.
So we'll keep you posted on our new house hunt and hopefully I'll be writing a post about CLOSING soon! Cheers!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Inspection

Yesterday I experience my first ever home inspection.  I was nervous about the home inspection for a few reasons.  To start with - what if your inspector is terrible or doesn't make sense to you? Thankfully for us, Bart - our home inspector, was fantastic.  He was honest and fair, he knew about homes and repairs, and he made both Bryan and I feel comfortable asking questions.  So at least that fear was calmed.
The other part of the inspection fear came from what the inspection would uncover.  I, personally, was nervous about the roof.  Would this roof need to be replaced after the next thunderstorm (which, let's be honest, would be the day that we move in)?  Our realtor also warned us about something called 'orangeburg' pipes, and since the home was built in the 50's she said that it was a definite possibility.  So basically my prayers were, "Dear Jesus, please no problems with the home inspection! But also, give us an honest home inspector and help him find anything that's wrong."
Unfortunately for Bryan and I and our dreams of owning a home, the inspector found several BIG ticket issues. Let's review, shall we?
1. Mold in the attic: The inspector said that it was normal to see in this type of home, but that it was a big issue and would need to be taken care of before anyone moved in.  This was the first of the major issues and I though, huh, well okay I can deal with that. Next...
2. The Front Porch:  So apparently back in the day, you didn't just build steps to your door, no no. You had a little space underneath the cement slab that actually opens into your basement.  We knew that there was a door out to this odd little space under the porch after the first time we walked through the house.  We didn't really know what we were looking at, but we new it was there.  Thankfully, Bart knew what he was looking at - mold, mildew, water seeping into the foundation of the home, motor deteriorating, and so much more! Basically the report was that the STEPS MUST BE REPLACED prior to anyone moving in since the cement could cave at any minute. Don't worry...there's more...
3. The Electric:  So I guess having your electric set up correctly is important to avoid things like fires.  Well our panel is not set up correctly, it has 100 AMPS coming in, but it was on a 200 AMP service meaning that before the circuit would shut itself off, it would overload and catch fire.
4. Finally, the dreaded ORANGEBURG PIPE! We had a sewer scope completed on recommendation from our realtor, and thank goodness we did! Orangeburg pipe was used around the in the mid part of last century and they thought it would be the latest and greatest in plumbing.  However, it's basically cardboard w/tar around it - which clearly cannot stand up to water running through it and roots growing around it for 50 years and so it collapses and then your sewer line backs up into the house. Clearly not what you want after a nice big storm.
So, those were the big things in our inspection.  We're going to ask the owner to take care of all these issues or give us concessions so that we can fix them, but we're kind of convinced that he won't be able to help us with these, which means that the cute little 1950's ranch will not be our first home.  Since the issues are so severe, I'm okay with it. I'm disappointed, but okay.  I am stressed that we will be homeless or that we'll get an apartment and then we'll find a house a week after we've signed our lease, but alas, there's no way to predict what will happen with our home search.
Later today we will talk with our realtor to discuss everything and hopefully to move forward from our very disappointing inspection yesterday.  I am glad of a few things: that our inspector was AWESOME and honest, that our realtor isn't just out to make a buck and thought about asking for the sewer scope, and that we know about all the issues in the home. At least we didn't move in without an inspection and THEN find these things out.  Thank you God for that! And now...more houses....

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

M*ch*g@n

So here we are, living in the belly of the beast, blue and maze everywhere we look.  As much as it's weired being in Ann Arbor and feeling that I should loathe everything in sight, I really like the city so far.  It feels good to be back in Michigan, nostalgic in a way...even though I've never actually lived in Ann Arbor, it still feels like coming home.  I've been able to reconnect with my long time friend, Meghan, and it's been great to have someone to call and hang out with.  We've been house hunting and we're pretty confident that we'll find something to call our own.  We're going out again the next two days to check out neighborhoods and some other homes.  We're praying for guidance and patience with the whole process. After our first time out we both felt overwhelmed coming home, neither of us talked for about 30 minutes, we just sat in silence, ha! But, now that we've had a few days to recover we're glad to hit the trail again.  I'll keep you updated on the hunt.
The other part of moving is that you realize that no matter where you go, you'll always miss parts of where you've been. I already miss Market Square and all the food and dessert it had to offer. I'm sure we'll find places here in A2, but I miss all the southern comfort that came from those Knoxville favorites.  In the office, too, you notice changes and wonder what type of person you would rather work with.  For instance, would you rather have a very competent worker who can handle a lot of work and you feel confident in, BUT they can be bossy and do not necessarily listen to what management asks of them -OR- have someone who is good at their position, but only to a certain extent, however, they ALWAYS listen to management, and NEVER question any decisions they make? Clearly you could debate back and forth all day, but it's just one example of changing offices and realizing that no matter where you end up you will have to work with different types of people in different ways.  I do miss Knoxville, but I am more excited about what Ann Arbor has for us.  Hopefully, my time here in A2 will be just as great as our time in Knoxville - maybe even better.  So I will hold my head high, wear scarlet and gray whenever I get the chance, deal with the mocking block M's around the city, and learn to be a Michigander.  Here's to you A2, my new adventure!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Oops...

So we were visiting the family in Cincy this week and my mom says, "You haven't updated your blog lately, I thought for sure you would be updating with the move!" and she was right, I haven't written since November which is quite unacceptable. Therefore, I am going to attempt to write more while in Ann Arbor and keep a better digital record of our lives up north.
Speaking of moving, I can't believe we're all packed up from Knoxville and on our way to our new home in Ann Arbor. It's weird. I feel like we'll be going back to Knoxville to our little apartment on Gallaher and back to the mountains and the southern heat.  But, instead we're driving North to Ann Arbor to look for a new home and I will be starting in a new office. I'm not nervous or scared, I feel like this is exactly what the Lord wants for our lives right now and that we're just following his plan.  I'm not overly excited, either, I think just because it's so much change and I just don't know how it's all going to turn out.
The biggest news is that we're looking to buy our first place in Ann Arbor! THAT I am excited about.  We're looking at condos and some single family homes, but I'm quite sure we'll be able to find something to call our own. I can't wait to find it and get settled, I hate living out of suitcases and not feeling settled. So hopefully there will be more blog posts about the home buying process and home ownership there after.
So in honor of mother's day, here is my post for my mama who always keeps me honest and reminds me to keep doing the things that I love...LOVE YOU MOM!